The key to successful interpersonal relationships is having a good relationship with yourself.   For many people though, possessing the right amount of self-love is an extremely difficult task.   We all know individuals that have large egos and appear very self-confident.   These people seem to breeze through life with few barriers or issues.   On the other side of the spectrum, there are what I call the “Eeyores” of the world.   You know, the sad, little gray donkey from the Winnie-the-Pooh stories that can never keep track of his tail.   These people have gray clouds over their heads that never go away.   Few people on this planet go through life without struggling with how they feel about themselves at times and often the confident people have poor self-esteem that is masked by the persona they present to the world.    

Low self-esteem comes from many sources, but mainly from our relationships as we grow up and form our personalities.   This does not mean that every person that struggles with their self-worth was abused or neglected as a child.   Sometimes a child in a “normal” family will have a poor ego for other reasons.    On the flip side, there are very resilient people that suffered atrocities as they developed and have great self-esteem.   The key is to discovering why you have a low opinion of yourself.   Once you understand yourself, you can move forward and build yourself up.    If you need to, repair relationships with family and friends.   Often by doing this you will discover that you will able to function better in relationships in the future.   It is like cleaning up a closet that was full of junk.   You kept the door closed, but you knew that all that jumble and clutter was still there. 

A very wise woman reminded me yesterday that I needed to take better care of myself.   She could see that I was “feeling invisible” and needed to take the time to build myself up again.   Many women are caretakers, and we often don’t take the time to make sure that we do things for ourselves.   By taking care of ourselves, we will feel better and present a happier person to the world.   People like to be around happy people, and therefore, you will probably see an improvement in your relationships.   If you are in negative relationships that are bringing you down, taking time to make yourself stronger will help you find the resolution that you need to change that relationship, or end it completely. 

Over the next two weeks, I am going to do the following things for myself: 

1. Get my hair done 

2. Work out three times per week 

3. Book a massage. 

4. Read a book. 

5. Have a bubble bath, with aromatherapy and candles. 

What about you?   What are you going to do for yourself?    I’d love to hear from you!   Email me at donig@mts.net. 

Orianne