We are going camping next week.  I mean real camping, in a tent, with no electricity or running water.  So folks, this may be my last blog.

You see, my husband HATES camping.  His version of roughing it means a television less than 32″ and a two-person hot tub.  We haven’t been camping in about six years because the last time we went, I almost killed him and buried his body in the bush to hide the evidence.  So like I said, this may be my last blog.  Either I’ll be arrested for murder, or my husband will get to me first.

Generally, we have similar interests and can agree on what to do, especially when it comes to vacations.  Camping is not one of them.  I love being out in the fresh air, with gorgeous scenery around me, having fires, swimming, possibly even getting in some canoeing.  While my husband generally enjoys these things only slightly less than I do, he has a major issue with sleeping on the ground and all the other more primitive things that go hand-in-hand with the great outdoors.

So how did I convince him to go camping again after half a decade or so?  I didn’t.  But I put the child up to it.  Every time she would mention camping or a related activity, I would say to her, “Go tell your father that you really want to go camping”.  Hah!  It only took a few times and the sucka broke down.  Always use children to your full advantage.  That’s why you have them.

The big guy is saying that he is looking forward to this trip, but I’m not 100% convinced.  He bought some new fishing equipment, and has checked all our camping gear over, since it hasn’t been out of the basement storage since 2003.  He has prepared his murder weapon sharpened the hatchet so the kid can roast marshmallows.  I guess I have to take him at his word and hope we all enjoy the time away from the city.

We are leaving on Monday and are returning Thursday.  If no one has heard from me by noon on Friday, phone the RCMP.  All my hairs have tags on them (thanks CSI) so the police can easily get DNA evidence.  That should get a conviction.

Just kidding!  We’ll have a great time!  And if not, next summer we’ll rent the “cottage” we rented last summer.  Three bedrooms, four TVs, satellite TV, seven-person hot tub, two bathrooms, fireplace and five appliances. 

Wait a minute.  Why the hell do I want to go camping?