Lately I’ve been thinking about independence, autonomy and the development of self.  I look back at my teenage years and most of my twenties and remember the struggle to find out who I was and my place in the world.  Each person has to figure it out in their own way, and most people never have an easy journey discovering who they are.

Part of that struggle is the separation of child from parent.  As the child develops, both he and the parent begin to emotionally evolve in order for the child to be able to eventually leave the parental home and create an independent life for himself.  Most parents struggle through this emotional change and often experience conflict, both within themselves and with the developing child.

I am experiencing this right now with my soon-to-be-eighteen year old daughter.  We are testing the boundaries of our relationship, with her pulling away and me freaking out about it.  It is hard to see your child become an adult and move on.  I know that she has developed into a wonderful adult and will make mostly good decisions regarding her future, but it is still a very hard road to travel.

She has to make her decisions now, and I can only guide her in the right direction.  I can only hope that even though I have made many mistakes, I have given her enough tools to become successful on her own.

As she spends less time with the family and more time at work, school and with her peers, I will miss her more and more.  I am already feeling the loss of my little girl who even from a very young age, showed a great affinity for arts and culture, and was the happiest when I would take her to museums, art galleries and the ballet.

I am hoping this melancholy that I believe is the beginning of empty nest syndrome passes soon and I begin to celebrate the fact that I have raised a pretty decent human being.  And let’s face it, she’ll be still bugging me for money and favours for years to come, right?